Thursday, November 11, 2010
CRACKED #198: That's an awesome cover!
by Pierre L.
So, we are just a smidge away from the big issue 200! And, this mighty shark, first appearing on the cover in 1975 (well, not him...the JAWS series), bursts out of the movie screens in 3-D! The shark is cool, the concept is fun and all the detail on the folks in the crowd are just wonderful. The UPC code does get in the way (and why does it have the yellow background and why does the top third have the yellow background). And, the whole thing feels crammed in but I like it. Hey! Check out the upper left hand corner. "Jaws Contest"! I hope it involves fighting with sticks!
Before we step in...you know all the repeats that have been popping up lately, well...that may be happening more often now...
POSTER: Repeat from Issue #145
TABLE OF CONTENTS: "Will I. Goof, pruffffff rdrrrrr" I see King Kong and...another King Kong...Hmmm...
LETTUCE FROM OUR READERS: "Next issue - August 9th" Official Cracked Fan Club going strong...Another Secret Message...I have to try and decode these things. Amos Svoboda writes! One of the letters has the "gorilla of my dreams" joke in it...Oh boy, Mickey Michaels, we want to talk to you...Are you Forrest J. Ackerman's long lost son?
THE MAKING OF JAWZ #23: Fun opening bit that covers all the Jawz films they've made over the years. Not just 3-D, but fighting Rocky and going after King Kong and teaming up with The Godfather...Wait a second...Issue #131...The Godfather Meets Jaws is on the cover. And...there is a two-page Godfather Meets Jaws section...And, this article has a 1 1/2 page abbreviated version...guys...apart from that, it's a fun bit.
WHAT YOU'LL REALLY MISS AFTER YOU GRADUATE: When I graduated from grammar school, I didn't miss articles like this. Oh, the sarcasm! From me and CRACKED... "Today in World History, class, we'll be studying the luggage of Rumania." There is a Groucho Marx joke, which is funny. But, mainly, it's three pages of all the dumb things from school...I was going to list them but you know them...The Drama Club's performance of "Fiddler" really grabbed me. I'm scanning this article again and it's so Thoroughly Average CRACKED that I can't get excited about it...sorry...
WORD PLAY: Hey! 1 Page of this! And...as always...I didn't get any of them. Although, the giant Earth with a "What" on top of it rang a bell.
THE WIDER WORLD OF SPORTS: Repeat from Issue #139
ONE DAY ON ROUTE 14: Fun two pages. A guy following really fast chickens back to the farm. The closing gag isn't great but it's got a nice movement to it.
ABSOLUTELY, UNQUESTIONABLY, POSITIVELY, UNDENIABLY, THE VERY, VERY, LAST OF THE CRACKED LENS (and we really, really mean it this time, for sure!) Part XXI: Well, they weren't in the last issue. It's great to see them back. But, this one is 6 pages...I think that's the longest one of these they've done in a regular issue. I wonder why so long. Possibly this ties-in with all the repeated stuff. Why all of these repeats as such an historic occasion draws near?
A gentlemen left an interesting comment under #197. Giving one possible reason for some of the repeats. Give it a read.
CRACKED'S EARLY WARNING SIGNS OF "NO RESPECT": Oh no...this is just like the "What You'll Really Miss etc." article. It is only 2 pages so that's cool. "When your parents finally gave you the key to the house was it from the lock they had changed two years ago?" "If you get higher than a D on any test does your teacher think you've cheated?" "Do you have to share your hair brush with the family's cat?" "Did your parents rent out your room while you were away on an over night trip?" Yeah...it goes like that. Someone must have loved these sorts of articles but it wasn't me.
MRS. KONG GOES TO TOWN: Fun one pager...I am wondering why the return of Kong in this issue but, as I said, this is a charmer.
THE TRUE STORY OF THE LONE RANGER: Odd...feels like a repeat but it isn't from something I've reviewed...If I find out where it's from, I'll update this. Until then...This is a fun three page bit (they used to do bits this size more often in the past). The Lone Ranger talks about himself, and Tonto (Pronto) and other cowboys and Roy Rogers and, in the end, Lone quits and Sylvester becomes the New Lone Ranger. This is a very good bit. But...the repeat thought still nags...
CRACKED INTERVIEWS THE OUTDOOR KING: Repeat from Issue #138
GIANT "JAWS" CONTEST!!: Excellent! 1st and 2nd Prizes: Atari Home Video Games (Which ones?) 23 Runner-Up Prizes: One year Subscription to CRACKED! Well, the first two prizes are so vague...I'd shoot for #4!!
You have to find the identical sharks on a page. There are 8, pick the 2 that match. Go! There's a second page here with a huge questionnaire. What are your Favorite CRACKED features? How often do you watch TV on Saturday morning? What are your interested or hobbies? Do you own a home videogame unit? If Yes, what kind? How many cartridges do you own? How many times do you reread all or part of CRACKED? How often do you have cereal as part of your breakfast? (CRACKED Cereal!) What other CRACKED Publications do you buy? _Biggest Greatest CRACKED _King-Sized CRACKED _CRACKED Collectors' Edition _Super CRACKED _Extra Special CRACKED _Giant CRACKED (Wow!) That's not all of the questions, just my favorites.
THE FALLING GUY: Last issue, Simon & Simon. This issue, The Fall Guy. Another in the series of endless 80's hour long dramas that bore me to absolute tears. 7 pages of this. There's some fun art here but I don't know the series so maybe I'm not the one to review the parody. And, it has a joke about how dumb the show is and yet it still gets great ratings. Wasn't there a joke like that in the S&S parody last issue? Sorry, folks. This one kind of grinds the end of the issue into the ground for me.
SHUT-UPS: Oh the Fresh Air!
1 - Video Arcade (Blip!)
2 - Shoe Store (Al!)
3 - Carnival (Mom!)
BACK COVER: Three strips....Sagebrush! It's not going to send you to Comic Heaven but they're fun. (I wonder if these are reprints?)
So, 13 1/2 of the 52 pages are reprints...possibly more...CRACKED...you saw all those other publications I listed...Let's knock of the repeats. More than 25% of this issue is reprints and it's supposed to be the New Issue.
What's next? I'm dying to see...
Next issue: Episode 6 and the Minimal Publicity From CRACKED