The Richie Cunningham / Fonz Solution
I loved this page from CRACKED #137 (page 22) so much that I thought I'd present it in full. I'll list "The Problem" followed by "The Richie Cunningham Solution" and then "The Fonz Solution". I typed it out exactly as it appears in the magazine so there are one or two odd bits of punctuation.
Unfortunately, the magazine does not say who wrote the article.
FROM CRACKED MAZAGINE #137:
"The Richie Cunningham Solution/ The FONZ Solution"
The Problem - A gang of hoods approaches you and your date on a dark, lonely street.
The Richie Cunningham (RC) Solution - You pray your date knows karate.
The FONZ Solution - You accept the gang's apology when they find out you're the Fonz!!
The Problem - In a game of Monopoly, your three female opponents all run out of money.
The RC Solution - You declare yourself the winner of the game.
The FONZ Solution - You let the game go on and make the chicks pay off their debts in kisses and smooches!!
The Problem - The guy you challenge to a motorcycle race turns out to be Evil Kneivel.
The RC Solution - You sheepishly back out of the race.
The FONZ Solution - You try not to beat Kneivel too badly and embarrass him in front of his young fans!!
The Problem - Dinner for two comes to five dollars more than you have on your person.
The RC Solution - You quietly ask your date to slip you a fiver under the table.
The FONZ Solution - You show your date that you're no male chauvinist by permitting her to pick up the tab!!
The Problem - You desperately need a five dollar increase in your salary.
The RC Solution - With great difficulty you summon up the courage to ask for only a dollar increase.
The FONZ Solution - You demand a fifty dollar raise and obligingly settle for only a ten dollar increase!!
The Problem - Whom do you get for a substitute when your prom date gets sick at the last minute?
The RC Solution - You desperately call up the class wallflower and hope she's available.
The FONZ Solution - You let all the other girls in town fight it out for the privilege!!
The Problem - While on a date, your car gets a flat in a heavy downpour.
The RC Solution - You apologize profusely while you fix the flat.
The FONZ Solution - You hold an umbrella over your girl while she fixes the flat!!
The Problem - You arrive fifteen minutes late and are greeted at the school entrance by the principal.
The RC Solution - You collapse in a dead faint.
The FONZ Solution - You use the opportunity to sell him a book of tickets to your club raffle!!