Two of the hottest items in the stores these days are Tuscan peppers - just one bite and you'll know how hot they really are - and electronic calculators. Bought mainly for mathematical problem solving in the past, these space-age devices are now about to take on a whole new role. So grab your machines and get set to try
CRACKED'S AMAZING CALCULATOR READOUTS
1)If Mr. Bixby, Mr. Cullin and Mr. Cosby all entered a room at the same time, what would you have a lot of?
(28,849 x 2 + 20)
2) What a woman often does when asked her age?
(2,145,447 x 3 - 1,118,996)
3) A witch usually wears Cover Girl on her nose when she goes out because she's trying to conceal a ____?
(3498 + 3608 +2)
4) Mary wanted something sweet for her birthday, so John gave her a box of ____ and told her tow wait a week.
(81 x 81 - 1223)
5) What you'd send if you learned King Kong was coming in a hour for breakfast?
(38 x 38 + 71 - 1010)
6) What Tonto always said when people asked him why the Lone Ranger always got to wear the mask.
(36 x 36 + 27,541,271 x 2)
7) What a person says when Richard Nixon reiterates, "But really, I am NOT a crook!"
(1.61616 divided by 4)
8) What Texans think Mt. Everest is.
(34 x 34 x 7 - 378)
9) To whom 30% of your pay check goes to every month.
(35,445,672 x 2 + 186,001)
10) How the British pronounce what's on the bottom of a shoe OR what Bruce the great white's favorite appetizer is before having filet [sic] of human.
(12 x 12 x 2 + 445)
11) What a husband does when he gets his wife's credit card bills.
(1,161,068 divided by 2)
12) What you will become if you read CRACKED for 8 hours straight.
(1434 - 663)
Article reprinted from CRACKED MAZAGINE #147, page 12. Author unknown.